Today, I met a girl. Her name was Samantha. The relationship was short, but happy. Our time together was filled with deep, engaging conversation. I will never forget her.

swansam25: swansam25 wants your attention!

Me: That's quite the introduction. Who are you?

swansam25: Hey cutie, glad you msged me I was getting borredd...lol

Me: Hey, no problemo. Say, I've got a CAPTCHA here I'm having trouble with. Think you could help me out?

swansam25: what r u up to?

Me: Talking to a filthy, Internet-spamming drone. How about you?

swansam25: It's me Samantha from twitter or pof...im on both!!

Me: Ooh! You're on pof! How fascinating! Please tell me more, "Samantha."

swansam25: ohh ya pof, hehe now i remember..

Me: Uh huh. Pof.

swansam25: oh yea?I'm feelin kinda horny right now lol

Me: You realize that you've just failed the Turing test, right?

swansam25: im just doing a cam chat right now, u wanna come chat with me on there?

Me: I'm not just talking a minor fail, here. You've majorly, epically failed. I'm unconvinced that you're a real person. Your marketing tactics are terrible. Besides, I'm at work. Would it really be appropriate for me to watch your doubtlessly sexually explicit "cam show" while at work? Perhaps my coworkers could watch with me? Is that what you want?

swansam25: cool, yea its pretty fun, it can get pretty hot in there sometimes! so many wild people. lemme get the info k?

Me: You continue to fail. Dr. Turing would be very disappointed. It should be obvious to anyone that I'm not interested in your pitiable, broadcasted writhings, yet you continue to "flirt" with me, fembot. Now be a nice little program and remove me from your potential clientele list, eh ?

swansam25: suit yourself...  ur prob a virgin anyways...  peace!

Me: Great Scott! That's the first sign of any intelligence I've gotten out of you!

swansam25: Do you think i should wear my pink or black thong?

Me: Scratch that. Do you really want to know what I think, Sam? I think you should wear a mumu. They're pretty much the sexiest things imaginable.

swansam25: kk, lemme see, okay go here [Linky Removed] and you should be able to see me..

Me: Thank you, Sam. I am very satisfied with our conversation. A++++, would mock again.

swansam25: make sure you accept my free cam chat invite on the left hand side, it expires in 10 mins to be free, click it k? I dunno if u can still see me but im just in the chat waiting 4 ya

Me: Keep waiting, Sam.

swansam25: yup, you gotta put in your info so the system can verify your age, got it?

Me: You betcha.

swansam25: yea cc is just to verify your age, don't worry it won't charge you are on the free cam session, u got in before the 10 mins expired. you in?

Me: Of course. I trust you not to charge me. After all, free is free, right?

swansam25: of course, i jsut like to be safe

Me: I'm sure you do, Sam.

swansam25: nice, k don't keep me waiting, im burning up in here!! might have to take off more clothing

Me: Don't take off too much. Wouldn't want to expose your lack of shame.

swansam25: k let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam sesssion.